Ten Things I Try to Do Daily to Feel Better
We all know how tough it is these days. Not going out very much or only getting to see some people via video chat using Zoom or FaceTime. There are challenges if you live with people, or have a family, but the challenges are a little different for me now that I’m living alone, by myself for the first time since I was 26 years-old. There is no real schedule or even a reason to get up since I’m not teaching during the summer. Yes, I have work to do—research, writing, reviewing others’ work-- but it doesn’t seem as urgent or important while we all reassess what really matters personally, professionally and in society overall.
So, I’ve made a list of ten things I try to do to overcome it all:
1.) Get up and out of bed! Easier said than done since I usually don’t have to be anywhere or do anything in the morning. But I feel the need to fill the empty hours and to find purpose. Yes, there’s work I’d rather put off, but I can’t just lie around. It’s boring and not very relaxing. And the longer I lie in bed, the longer I have to think of things that make me anxious. So now, before going to sleep, I purposely pull the shade down just enough so that the morning light will shine through, wake me and urge me to get up!
2.) Take a shower! Not as easy as you might think. Seems like too much of an effort. Besides, who is going to see me or smell me? But I do find taking a shower can make one feel refreshed and ready to start anew.
3.) Get dressed! I’ve got a closet full of clothes, but every day I’m wearing the same ratty old exercise outfit, t-shirts and leggings. They bore me and I have to constantly wash them. Maybe, instead, at least one day a week, I should actually put on nice clothes, or at least a top (since no one can see anything else on Zoom). I could put on lipstick, mascara, and even earrings. But I am torn. I don’t want to seem vain, but I don’t want to continue looking like a depressed version of myself either.
4.) Reduce Anxiety. Start every day by sitting in my soft blue chair for a few minutes. Look at the sky, the Hudson River, and breathe. Try to get rid of my anxious morning thoughts. I should think of this as an attempt at meditation, pathetic as it might seem.
5.) Practice gratitude. Remind myself of the following things I am grateful for:
a. That I’m alive and well and have a chance for another day.
b. That I have family and friends who love me and who I love in return. I feel their presence in my life even though I cannot see them face to face and don’t know when I will be able to.
c. That my husband died before Coronavirus hit us. I am so relieved that Tony died at home, with me there and our son holding him, his spirit going peacefully after a long and horrible illness. My aides tell me that they would not have been able to come to take care of him and that the nursing homes would not have admitted him during the pandemic. I feel the timing of his death was indeed a blessing for both of us.
d. That my brain is becoming active again as I’m starting to read, think and write. Maybe I’ll write a book about the history of Exceptionalism. Regularly tell myself that I still have something important to do and believe it.
6.) Bust a move! Thankfully, I am physically able to do a few exercises before starting the day. Nothing crazy, just three or four simple Qi Gong movements and stretches, along with some pilates. And I don’t spend more than 10 minutes doing so because I just get impatient to get to work!
7.) Lunch properly. At the moments I can only fit in a quick lunch, I make a point to avoid eating from a storage container while standing at the kitchen counter!
8.) Get out and about. I try to take walks, even if it means braving the elevator for twenty-six floors and a corridor where I’ll have to pass people. Is it more dangerous not to go out and walk or to share an elevator with more people than I’m comfortable with? I try not to obsess about such danger!!! Even so, maybe it would be better to get a Bose Wave so I can dance to my Zydeco cd’s instead.
9.) Eat well. After a day’s work I have some good food, red wine or my “Asarita” (silver tequila, ice and the juice of a whole fresh lime). My pilates instructor recently told me that a fresh lime is a great deodorant! A new ad for margharita’s, “Drink and don’t stink.”(?) How fortunate to cook a delicious and healthy dinner, trying different tastes every night. It’s hard living alone to cook, especially since food is best when shared. But I am grateful for every meal and don’t take it for granted. There is so much hunger (or, as they call it, “food insecurity”). To eat is to celebrate as well as sustain life. Try to not rush, I tell myself. Slow down!
10.) Stop bingeing on Netflix! Though it has been serving a purpose—I just loved Schitt’s Creek, and yes Tiger King—but some serials (for example, Broadchurch or Dr. Foster) are addictive and keep me up past midnight, which was a good thing when we had fireworks going off for hours in the neighborhood, week after week. I’ve never liked watching TV at night—I’ve always felt it a waste of time. And here I am. I thought it would relax me, but the really addictive, suspenseful ones don’t! Each episode ends with a cliffhanger, so I want to go on to the next episode, and then the next, like an alcoholic who can’t stop at one or two drinks. Am I expanding the things I take pleasure in or self-medicating? Promise yourself to do with Netflix what you do with your daily wine. Limit it. And I’ll take the pledge and try my best to do the same!
I hope you might find these actions as helpful as they are proving to be for me, since, as they say, we are in this alone together!